


Just a Dream

by flordecai



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Bloodwing death, M/M, Mordy is a ball of Rakkshine and sadness, Morecai mourns by drinking and yelling at people, Rakkshine, Rakkshine is an invention that is dangerous, don't drink EVER
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 08:25:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11204184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flordecai/pseuds/flordecai
Summary: Mordecai grieves the death of his BFF and decides to drop off the face of Sanctuary until he either finds the guts not to care or ends up respawning at the New-U. Either way he wins... Right...?





	Just a Dream

_“I love you.” His smile is gentle, the scar on his upper lip lifting a bit as his mouth opens into that shit eating grin that is so Brick it physically hurts. And the sniper can’t help but smile back as he press into him, kissing his cheek lightly, running a hand down his shoulders, finding the bumps and divots that come with the scars on the other’s body._

_“I love ya too, mi vi…” The words stop in Mordy’s throat and Brick notices, cupping the other’s face in his hands as he pulls him into his large arms, hushing the sobs that are erupting from the skinny man’s body, leaving him trembling in arms that have engulfed him._

_“Sh…” He just whispers sweet nothings, rubbing his lover’s shoulders as he tries to calm him. “I’m here now… I’ve got you…”_

_I_ _t hadn’t been an hour since Mordecai returned from the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve, sweat and tears and something’s blood covering his clothes from his trek back to Sanctuary from the Preserve. Lilith and Roland left the two alone, not wanting to step in on the two’s reunion. Brick continued holding the other close, not leaving as the sniper sobbed himself to sleep, his scrawny body curled into his giant boyfriend. The night was quickly approaching, so the larger man carried Mordecai with him to their bunk in HQ, sitting on his bed as he held the smaller man close, not daring to loosen his hold for anything the entire night..._

Or at least that is how Mordecai _wishes_ it had worked out.

When he got back from the Preserve, it was only Lilith and Roland, but neither one of them did an ounce of comforting. Roland was all ‘soldier we must move on, grieving is for when we win the war’ kind of bullshit he always spouted, but Lilith shut him up by picking a fight, letting Mordecai disappear to where he and Brick had lived before they both left Sanctuary. He had shit tons of alcohol stashed there, where Roland never checked and Lilith had no clue as to where it was. The room had been cleaner once upon a time, when he actually occupied it with another human but after Brick left it had just been him and Bloodwing.

“ _Mi vida…_ ” Her perch where she slept was on the balcony facing Sanctuary’s shield, her feathers still lying where she had preened herself days earlier, before Hyperion caught her and took her to-   
Mordecai shakes his head violently, turning to throw things about the room, desperate to find his Rakkshine, an invention that got him a one way ticket out of Sanctuary thanks to Moxxi’s bullshit and Zed’s lack of a medical license. It probably hadn’t been a good idea to create an alcohol that was damn near 100% alcohol, but at the moment Mordecai couldn’t care less. Alcohol was alcohol and he needed to drink himself into oblivion, a feat he easily could do within a few hours of drinking the Rakkshine.

“I’m sorry, Blood, I should have got to ya sooner…” He mumbles, slowly sitting against the bed as he stares at her feathers, tears building in his eyes, causing him to toss his goggles to the side and pinch the bridge of his nose, sucking in another deep breath.

He could remember it like yesterday, when he got her egg at eighteen. He had been gambling again, selling most of his cheap weapons for cash and he happened to spot a rare egg some guy had. Of course the bastard didn’t want to sell it, rather he wanted to gamble with it, so Mordy had to play poker to get the damned thing. His original intention was to let the thing hatch to figure out what it was then sell it to some scientist- those people would pay any kinda sum to get a rare specimen, freakin’ scientists. But as he left the bar, egg in hand, he felt a sort of… Connection, as if this egg had been trying to find him, migrating from owner to owner to get to him. And from then on he cared for the egg better than he cared for himself, keeping it warm and nestled safely in his hotel room, reading every book he could get his hands on about egg care and even trying desperately to figure out what sort of egg it was. And then, during one of Pandora’s long ass nights, it hatched and out came this small bird, squawking in an oddly cute manner and instantly Mordecai was attached. He named him Bloodwing because when he hatched his wings were soaked in blood and when he stretched he got the blood and mucus _everywhere_ , but Mordy didn’t mind. He had his pet and that was all that mattered.

“You always were attached to me, you almost pecked Lilith to death the first time she tried to pet you…” The sniper laughed bitterly, downing a long sip of the clear substance, coughing when he put the bottle down for air. “You didn’t want _anyone_ I didn’t like to touch you…”

In fact, even if a person who Mordecai _liked_ tried to pet her she would almost take off their hand with a quick snap and a loud call of displeasure. Before she became… well, a she, Bloodwing had been the definition of anger, taking every chance he got to take out bandits and make his master proud. The training to get to that point had been difficult, but the only person he ever listened to was Mordecai, obeying his every order flawlessly and with quick execution. Roland had attempted to order him with military style, but was promptly disappointed when the bird actually gave him the cold shoulder. He complained to Mordecai, but the sniper only shrugged and informed the Mr. Soldier Man that his bird only took orders from his father while proudly stroking Blood’s feathers affectionately, his head bobbing as he expressed his pleasure with the affection.

The night was cold as it always was in Sanctuary, but somehow tonight was colder than it had been before for the sniper. In his drunken stupor, he pulled the blanket off the bed and wrapped himself up in the worn fabric, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. He wished his brain would just stop, that the thoughts and memories would slow to a halt, like pressing the pause button on an ECHO recording. But memories and thoughts are never that simply to stop, not in real life. Instead the memories came flooding in, one after another, until Mordecai was a small ball on the floor, sobbing into one of the tank tops Brick had left in the room for him. The memories were becoming more painful now, more hurtful, like a knife stabbing him in the chest repeatedly but without directly hitting his heart. They faded between each other, going from when Mordecai first came to Pandora to when Bloodwing killed his first bandit to when Blood met Dusty for the first time to when Brick asked Mordecai to move in. From there, the memories got worse, changing from painfully happy to painfully depressing- when Brick left to seeing Dusty laying in New Haven, dead. Cutting off Dusty’s paw in the off chance hope that Brick was alive, Blood crying when Mordy crumpled up next to the dog’s corpse, fighting with Roland over finding Brick. Finding Brick only to lose him after Roland being a prick to sneaking out to visit Brick as the Slab King, to watching Blood mutate before his eyes then watching her blood explode violently.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen, _mi vida…_ ” He sobbed, snot dripping from his nose as he rested his forehead against the floor, hiccuping violently as he tried to breath. “You were supposed to… Supposed to grow old with me, _envejecer y ser viejo conmigo…_ ”

The night passed in drunken sobs, but eventually, much to his relief, Mordecai passed out. He was too drunk to hear Roland calling him over the ECHO or hear Lilith’s calls throughout the streets of Sanctuary hours later, not that he would have replied if he was awake anyways. Staying away was best right now, best for everyone. If the sniper was around others, he knew it would be bad, he knew he would snap and take out his grief on them. In part, he was glad Brick wasn’t there, because he might had tried to push the giant man away, throw insults at him as naturally as he drew breath, even though internally he’d be screaming at himself to stop. He would push the limits of those around him, the self destruct button inside him being pushed and beyond any repair. It was like a nuclear bomb, once the button was pressed there was no going back until Mordecai drank his seven livers into failure and causing himself to respawn at the New-U station in Sanctuary. Not that he gave two shits about that now, at least that way he would have a chance of seeing his best friend again.

Mordecai wasn’t in HQ for days, staying in his small hole and drinking himself to sleep every time he woke up, puking his guts out every other time until his body finally gave up trying to eject the toxins from itself, letting the sniper continue to damage it further. The damage and pain were the only things he could feel anymore, so it didn’t matter if he was killing himself slowly, it was better than not feeling anything or feeling overwhelming anger at the world, at Hyperion, at himself, at his boyfriend/not boyfriend/Slab King. Gods knew he couldn’t be mad at Bloodwing, she hadn’t done anything wrong, she had done exactly as he had trained her to. Swoop in, kill any loaders with low health, swoop out- except one loader grabbed her, pulled her down and threw her against a rock. By the time Mordecai had killed the loader, a scientist had gotten her tranked and in a cage, running for his life while the sniper began screaming threats in his native tongue. Blood had done as she was trained, she protected the collar at all costs, but where did that get her? Mutated, slagged and tortured and gods knew what else that the drunken sniper imagined to torment himself. She had done as he trained her to, but at the cost of her life and that was no one else’s fault but his own. He had gotten her killed, he might as well have pressed the button that made her collar explode. If one thought the threats and promises Mordecai made to Jack afterwards had been bad, the internal dialogue he threw at himself was far _far_ worse. The amount of self loathing that tormented the drunken man was beyond any amount of sobriety could fix, the alcohol was only there to silence the thoughts, to quiet them and let him sleep reality away. Without the Rakkshine, Mordecai might have killed himself after she died, that much was evident to only him and him alone.

Days in the drunken stupor without shaving left the sniper with a distorted sense of time, preventing him from being able to tell how many days had exactly passed, but he stopped caring probably around the fourth day of his drunkenness. Around day seven, Brick was back in Sanctuary, greeting Lilith and Roland as old friends, laughing and hugging them tightly- until he noticed his boyfriend wasn’t there.

“Where’s Mordy?” The goliath frowned, crossing his arms as he looked at Roland, cocking an eyebrow. “Don’ tell me ya kicked ‘im out too?"

“No, no he’s here just… Not here…” Roland looked at Lilith, concern and alarm clear on his face.

“Bloodwing is… Jack murdered her.” Lilith states, looking down at the Crimson Raider hologram map, her pale fingers resting on the metal. “Mordecai is… He’s been AWAL since he got back…”

“Why the hell didn’t you ECHO me sooner?” The giant growls, turning to leave HQ at almost a dead run, his giant frame leaving a gust of air in his wake. He knew exactly where his drunken sniper would be, he just hoped the other wasn’t dead drunk when he got there.

Not seeing Blood circling above their secret home was an empty feeling, one that made Brick’s heart drop into his stomach as he stood outside of the tall building, eyes searching for any sign of life. Sniffing lightly, he caught the scent of cigarettes, frowning as he slowly and surprisingly silently made his way up the stairs, hearing a loud coughing fit from the to floor.

Much to his dismay, the sniper was awake and sober, lying with his back on the metal floor, his cargo pants loose where they normally should have been snug thanks to going almost a full week of living off alcohol and crackers. He had lit a cigarette, staring at the ceiling while smoking it. That was when he heard a creak on the stairs and jolted up, pulling out a pistol and holding it to the door as it opened slowly. When the door fully opens, he stares at the man on the other side, trying to convince himself this is just a dream.

“Thi-this isn’t real, Roland, Lilith this shit isn’t funny.” He thinks its either a dream or a really sick prank, but either way he’s panicking now, his thin frame trembling as he tries to hold the pistol steady. “Ya’ll fuckin’ _know_ this shit ain’t funny, knock it _the fuck off!”_ He yells, his voice hoarse and breaking in odd and ugly places.

“Mordy…” Brick only has to say that before seeing his boyfriend break into a sobbing mess, the pistol shaking horribly in his unsteady hands. “Mordy, put the gun down okay?”

“Why now? Why _the fuck_ are you showing up _now?_ ” The sniper whimpers, dropping the gun into his lap, throwing the bag of crackers he had laying next to him, aiming but missing Brick’s head (and body) entirely. “Why now? Why the fuck now?!”

“I only just got back…” The giant feels so much guilt it hurts him physically.

Mordecai is _a mess_ , worse than when Moxxi had dumped him for Jack, worse than when Dusty died, worse than when they thought Lilith was dead. Mordecai has been known to be a mess after the shit they went through, but this… This was an entirely new form of mess, one that alarmed Brick greatly.

“Oh, so that’s it? I should just start smiling and laughing then, shouldn’t I?” He knows he’s being a dick, gods he _knows_ he’s hurting Brick, but he can’t handle the other being here, he can’t cope with being happy, not when he was practically a murderer.

Worse than Brutus, by far worse than Brutus.

“I should just throw out Blood’s feathers and perch, shouldn’t I? Put on a fuckin’ smile and fuck you and then go prance around the damn city and celebrate! Look, my fuck buddy is back! I’m over Blood! Yippy fuckin’ kyay!” Mordecai has stood up, stumbling at the use of his legs for the first time in a week. “Get out, Brick, just fuckin-” He was expecting a punch, a slap, an angry, hurt Brick, but he wasn’t expecting the other to _hug him._ Brick had wrapped his large, warm arms around the skinny sniper, pulling him against his chest slowly, not wanting to startle him but firmly enough to send the message _I’m not letting go._

“Shut up for a second…” Is all the giant man mutters, his arms tightening, expecting a reaction of some level of violence from Mordecai. But then, surprisingly, his shirt where the drunk had pressed his face into has started to become damp and the sniper wraps his scrawny arms around Brick, sobbing into his chest.

“I… I should have s-saved her, Brick… it’s… it’s all my fault…”

The giant man sighs, closing his eyes as he pulls his boyfriend close, resting his forehead against Mordecai’s hair, rubbing his back slowly, hating how thin the other has become. He doesn’t say anything, just silently comforts the other, knowing the sniper doesn’t need words right now, he just needs to know he’s loved.

Eventually Mordecai has calmed down enough to let Brick move him to the bed he hasn’t slept in at all since the giant man left, allowing the blonde to hold him as the curl up under the messy sheets.

Then, for the first time in a week, Mordecai sleeps without drinking himself into slumber, curled into his boyfriend’s chest.


End file.
